Success in Balance

I just finished watching the Warren Buffet press conference where he answered questions about his commitment to the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation. This announcement along with Bill’s recent announcement about stepping down from Microsoft means we might just see some radical change in some serious issues. What I really liked is how Warren gets it. When asked why he didn’t just set up his own foundation and give directly to what is important to him, he said that he would not be able to put the time and effort into it that Bill & Melinda will, he is already good at investing and enjoys it, and he would be more accepting of their mistakes than his own. How’s that for honesty?

Warren realizes that he can only be good at so many things, that there are others that are better at some things. He also sees that people make mistakes. That’s part of the process. If you want to make an impact, you have to take risks. Making mistakes is just the price you pay for success.

In addition Warren made it clear that he respects and trusts Bill & Melinda. Partnering with people you trust just makes sense. Also, if you are partnered with people you trust, the mistakes make more sense.

Gotta give it to all of them. They seem to have success in balance with the rest of their lives.

Why The Web Is Hitting A Wall

Why are people saying no? Some worry, after hearing about online scams and digital viruses, that the Net isn’t safe. Others swear that, for all the brouhaha about the Net’s ability to enhance communication, e-mail and instant-message chats break down social interaction. But the broader issue is that — despite innovations that make it possible for people to call up their bank accounts with a few clicks of the mouse, watch the latest episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on a PC, and play online games against competitors in Korea, France, and South Africa — the Internet remains too complicated and costly for a huge swath of American society. Doreen Pappas, a 39-year-old who works in the finance industry in New York City, isn’t willing to go through the headache of picking out a computer, having it delivered, and setting up an online connection. “It’s a hassle and it’s expensive,” Pappas says. “I would rather spend the money on fun things.”

I came across this article in Business Week and decided to post it to my other blog, Digital Stakeholders, but as I thought about it some more, I realized it really belongs here. Sure the article identifies some technology barriers, but many people are realizing that technology can impact the balance they have in life. Boy do I respect these people. Years ago I thought they were just ludites, but they got something I missed. While they were enjoying time with people they loved, I was busy checking e-mail.

How many people do you know that can not go away for a weekend without checking their e-mail? Or take it one step further, how many go on vacation and leave their cellphone at home? Are we really that important? Do people really “need” to get ahold of us that bad?

For me it has come down to just saying no. I have to realize that it is an addiction. But not a simple addiction with one dimension, but several. There is the need to “be part of the group”, I would hate to find out that I missed something. To “be needed”, it is nice when I am needed and can help people. To “make everyone happy”, I mean what if they had to wait until Monday for an answer? So for me I just have to say no to technology at times and yes to more important thing, like my wife, my kids, my sanity….what about you? What do you need to say no too? Better yet, what do you need to say Yes too? Remember, it is not really success unless it is in balance!

FOXNews.com - Standing Tall on Character - Neil Cavuto | Your World

I’ve heard younger, yuppie types snicker at this doddering Mr. Magoo shuffling off to his next event — unaware of who he was or how much money he has. And, more importantly, all the money he gives — without notoriety, without fanfare, without a single soul, even the recipient, knowing.

This one makes you think, at least it made me think, about what success in balance really is and how do you know when you have achieved it. David knows and the cool thing is that he does not need anyone to confirm it for him. He is conforatable in his own skin and is making an impact on those around him with no need for affirmation from anyone. He has character and confidence. Take a few minutes to think about how much you (and I) depend on the affirmations of others to “feel” successful. I was not pleased with what I saw, but I continue to learn from people like David.

John Baldoni’s CIO Coach Casting - Home Page - CIO

Executive coach and CIO.com columnist John Baldoni provides you with information to use to develop your people as well as your own managerial skills. Each episode of John Baldoni’s CIO Coach Casting provides actionable advice that you can use today and in the future.

Good stuff. Each of these podcast type MP3’s is short enough to listen to when you have a minute or two and each reinforces important aspects of life. I particualrly liked the one on prioritizing as it spoke specifically to the 24/7 mentality. Boundaries are a huge issue and prioritizing is important. Deals with a variety of topics such as office politics….think I will have to check this one out regularly.

Some thoughts on the NBA . - Blog Maverick - www.blogmaverick.com

As a partner, I would rather offer up a topic for discussion and be told Im wrong, or even ignored, then not present my perspective. You never know the impact if you dont communicate. Its usually just a short and simple email from me for someone in the NBA to read and respond to, or not.

As I read this over at Blog Maverick, I could not help but think how this mentality is the reason Mark is so successful. He realizes it is not perfection that is the key, but the constant pursuit to make things better. He does say “Shaq is wrong” but what Shaq is doing is wrong. Totally different focus. Mark gets it. If each and every day we all work to make ourselves better and those around us better, how much better will this world be?

Laziness

A friend told me about this great website called Despair. It is a site devoted to demotivation. Now that might seem silly, but they creators realized that motivation is huge business, but the reality is most people are not motivated and do not really want to be motivated. As I looked through many of the sayings it was simply amazing how many I connected with. This one was on of my favorites, but for different reasons:

Success is a journey is one of my favorite sayings, so at first I was a bit annoyed. But then as I thought about it in the context of Success in Balance with the rest of my life, I started liking it more and more. Often my life is out of balance because I am being driven by urgency instead of importance. I react to situations. I deal with the things that come my way. At times I need to slow down to “smell the roses.” You can’t smell them if you run right by them. So while life is a journey, we need to slow down and enjoy the journey. Funny how a demotivational poster can be so motivating

The past week was one of those weeks where all I could do is try to get through. Forget about Success and forget about Balance. My only goal was to make it through without doing irreparable harm to Success or Balance. And is seems to be the case so often Scott Adams author of Dilbert touches on the very subject.

For more great comics, check out Dilbert. (see archive for dates)

Some good stuff and I am hopeful that the coming week will be better. Wish me luck!

I was reading a post on Success and Motivation over at Blog Maverick, The Mark Cuban Weblog and was struck with a thought that I have had many times. Here is one quote from the article:

In Business, the odds are a little different. You don’t have to break the Mendoza line (hitting .200). In fact, it doesnt matter how many times you strike out. In business, to be a success, you only have to be right once.

One single solitary time and you are set for life. That’s the beauty of the business world.

So in business you can be a success even after failing many times and I think the same is true in life, to a point. In order to have a successful marriage I need to show my love for my wife in many ways. Many times this works and often times I fall flat on my face…just ask her But the bottom line is I keep trying and I keep looking for new ways to show my wife that I love her. This also applies to my kids and other areas of life as well.

So to a point success in balance is also failure in balance. The key is to keep trying and keep learning. After reading Mark’s comments I feel a bit more adventurous, a bit more willing to take an educated risk.

What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts in our discussion area. Go ahead, take the risk, some day someone will and it might as well be you

Over the weekend I was reflecting on the concept of Success in Balance. Part of me thought perhaps I should have called it Success With Balance, but as I thought about it more the work “with” applies some independence, while “in” seems to imply some dependence. So “with” to me says success and balance are two different things, but “in” seems to say that the two work together. So what does this have to do with greatness? Well I think it all comes down to how you define success. This past week I had my annual goal setting session with my department chair and he was commenting on the weights that I have assigned for each of my areas of responsibility (teaching, research, and service). He was asking my logic as to why I had chosen the weights. He then told me how I could actually still do ok in that area this year. But as we talked I said “my goal is not to simply be acceptable in each of these areas, but to be outstanding.” He seemed pleased, but a bit stunned (stunned is a bit to strong, but you get the point).

From this I then thought, we see this in academics, in government, etc., how many of us define greatness by what others think of us? Do you define greatness by your annual evaluation?

Then today I was reading about Daniel Drezner being denied tenure at the University of Chicago and some attributing it to the time he spent blogging. Yet when Dr. Drezner looked back on the experience he said he would not change a thing. To me this is the mark of greatness; to make the best decision possible and never look back. Do you think George Washington, Albert Einstein, your favorite inspirational person, worries about what others thought? I don’t think so. I think Dr. Drezner will find himself a much better person for having done what he thought was right and touching many people in the process.

So, are you striving for greatness? And if so, greatness in what? My next post will be about the roles we play in life and how they can help or hinder us as we try to achieve success in balance with the rest of our lives.

As I sat at home handing out Halloween candy I started noticing quite a few kids that wouldn’t say thank-you, I thought where is this world heading? Then there were those that would simply reach their hands in the bowl and grab a handful of candy. It seemed as if they thought it was their right to have it all. Why should they have to settle for just one when I had a whole bowl (I am not talking about 3-4 year olds). As I was feeling a bit down about today’s kids two young men (probably 12) came to the door. They said trick-or-treat. Nicely took the candy (I didn’t have to tell them to take just 1 or 2) then said thank you and a very sincere “Have a nice Halloween.” Wow, that took me by surprise. But how would I remember this Halloween? Would I allow those that “took” determine my thoughts or would I let those who offered “thanks”?

So my lesson from Halloween is it is all about the perspective you choose. That’s right it is your choice. Personally I am making a concerted effort to change my perspective, to change my view. Sure I can see things as bad and react accordingly, or I can see the good and react accordingly. On the start screen of my PDA I have put the words “Choose Grace, Not Un-Grace” and for me it means that I can choose how I react. Instead of selling people short, I am going to choose to see the best and believe the best.

So as the evening winds down I had a few more trick-or-treaters. This time it was two sweet little angels, wings and all. The nicely took their candy and as they started heading down the steps the little angel nicely said “is it ok if I have two?” Remembering that it is all about perspective, I said yes. And in return I received a sweet heartfelt thank you (you know when kids are sincere). It made all those other thoughts slip away.

So when you are faced with a choice, choose Grace and not Un-Grace. That choice will help you as you continue to strive for success in balance with the rest of your life.

If you have lessons that you would like to share, feel free to use our discussion area. Also, if you would like to contact me directly you can e-mail paul at successinbalance.com.